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Have you or your church been criticized?

Churches are targets for criticism. That seems like one of the grandest of ironies. The God-ordained institution that offers the love, grace and peace of Jesus Christ gets shot at on a regular basis. Maybe it's not so ironic, Jesus was criticized too.

The size of your church doesn't matter. Small churches get shot at just as much as mega-churches. The difference is that the criticism of mega-churches ends up in blogs, newspapers and even on TV. The government will critique the church's non-profit status. The secular community will question motives of churches. But the majority of criticism for the local church comes from within. It comes from Christians. Now that is ironic.

In most churches, lives are being changed, people are getting baptized and Jesus is lifted up! And of course, there is always some criticisms. A few of the complaints can be legitimate.

But the curious thing is that very few, if any, visitors who are not Christians have complaints of any kind. They attend and are thankful for a great experience. They are inspired by the music and teaching. They know something is different. Even if they don't know much about God, they have a sense of His presence.

They are blown away if you have a Starbucks for the connoisseurs and free coffee for those who just want something strong and hot. They get giddy when they learn they can take their drink into the service and there are cup-holders in the chairs! They are thrilled to learn that the CD's of the messages are free and that the church provides a world-class environments for their kids ... free!

The majority of criticisms come from Christians. I'll give you a few:
- No enough parking close enough to the door of the church.
- The music is too loud.
- They can't bring their pre-school aged child into the adult worship experience.
- They don't know the songs (because they never listen to Christian radio).
- The lights are too bright or too low.
- They don't like drums in church.
- The worship service is not designed like it was in the "good old days."

As a leader you know that criticism is often an indication that you are doing something right. But let's be honest, it can still wear on you. Don't let the complaints get to you. Hang in there. What you are doing is important. It matters. Your church is not perfect. No church is. And neither are the people who are attending. That's kind of the whole point. The following thoughts will help you navigate the weary world of critiques in the local church.

Absorb criticism with grace.

Each time someone criticizes something I do my best to absorb it with poise, sincerity and grace. It takes less energy to absorb it than it does to fight it. I do my best to give the person the benefit of the doubt and assume they have the church's best interest at heart, even when it's apparent that's not the case.

This can be difficult because criticism never ends, even in the best of churches. People with a strong personality can wear you out and get you on the defense. This is not so much because you are defensive, but its part of a natural human (protective) response system to something that threatens to continually drain you of energy (and sanity!). So as you listen with grace, remind yourself that you are not held hostage to respond to every complaint, nor make everyone happy.
Taking criticism comes with the territory of being a leader. Leaders make changes and do things that disturb or remove people's comfort zones. That will always get a response from people. It will not serve you well if you are thin-skinned about criticism. Don't take it personal. It may feel personal, but try to stay focused on the issue. If it turns personal, that's different, and the topic of another edition of the Pastor's Coach. But for now, just turn the other cheek.

Learn from criticism and take action when you can.

The good news is that as a leader you can learn from complaints. I genuinely give it my best to learn whatever I can from every complaint. First I listen for the obvious. Sometimes someone will see something that is clearly a problem and needs to be fixed - and I just didn't see it. So hey, that's great! I thank them, and set about discovering a solution. Second, I look for patterns. When I get complaints that are subtle and more subjective in nature I give it a little time and see if others bring up the same issue. If I hear the same thing several times I lift the urgency for a solution.

Sometimes a legitimate issue will come up that requires improvement or change. But you don't have the time or resources to get it done right then. Just be honest about that. Tell the person you agree and as soon as time and resources are available you will be on it. Sometimes the person will jump in and offer to help. Great! Sometimes we must all agree there is a problem but the solution must wait. Other times there is an urgency that demands a more immediate response. Your leadership will help people understand the best and wisest timing.

Ignore criticism when you need to.

It's important to discern if it's a productive criticism or if it's an expression from someone with a critical spirit. If it's a critical spirit, especially a chronically critical spirit, just ignore it. Listen to them the first few times, and then let them know that you just don't want to hear it. The most loving thing to do is confront the person for their critical spirit. Be honest. Let them know that they have a pattern of being unhappy, complaining and candidly behaving in a selfish manner. Do not let these people control your life. If you let them control you they will. If they get mad and leave, so be it. It's not that you want them to leave, but you can't allow them to drain the life out of you and thereby hurt your overall ministry efforts.

Teach those who criticize when you have the opportunity.

This can be the trickiest of all four points. But here's my heart behind the thought. If you consistently receive criticism with grace, and you are genuinely receptive to learning from criticism, then you have earned the right to teach, when appropriate, those who offer criticism. These are not often pairs that travel together in the same circumstance, but that is one of the many ways we all have the opportunity to remain humble.

It is not uncommon that a criticism comes from a lack of understanding. For example, we get asked why we don't have a salvation altar call every Sunday. Sometimes the question comes with passion and fervor! As we begin to add clarity and understanding to the issue the person not only eases up some but joins us in our enthusiasm for offering salvation invitations based on a strategic Sunday in each teaching series. When we further talk about how people come to faith in small groups or in one to one scenarios every week, they begin to see things in a different light. Then when they come to a baptism service and see so many people getting baptized the big picture starts to become clear. So turning a criticism to a teaching moment or process, though time consuming, it's worth your time.

The nature of criticism can be extremely draining, but if you receive it with grace, stay focused on the productive criticism, and ignore the rest, criticism can be a good thing and a blessing in disguise.

[Dan Reiland]

Fundraising Tools

Please visit http://www.nonprofitconference08.info/ to download your complimentary "FUNDRAISER’s DESKTOOL".

While visiting make sure you order your complimentary BOARD RETREAT FUNDRAISING KIT when you register for the "2008 MAJOR GIFTS CONFERENCE" - Florida & South Carolina.

While global leaders struggle to come up with a viable solution to our current economic crisis, the National Development Institute is taking immediate action to help Nonprofit Executives raise much needed funds in today's climate of uncertainty and fear.

This is an ALTERNATIVE to the media hysteria about Wall Street’s credit crisis and to truly understand the impact on nonprofit fundraising.

Catalyst is Over

Catalyst is OVER and it was an AWESOME time.

Make sure to check out the Catalyst Live Blogging Site for recaps of all the speakers.

[Click on photo to enlarge it.]

A Blessing

May today be all you need it to be!

May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight, and conquer all your fears.

May God manifest himself today in ways you have never experienced.

May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer, and your prayers be answered.

I pray that faith enters a new height for you; I pray that your territory is enlarged. I pray for peace, healing, health, happiness, prosperity, joy, true and undying love for God.

You Are Voting For Him?

The general election in the U.S. is just around the corner and it's clear we'll continue to be inundated with campaign advertisements about the many candidates and ballot issues until Election Day -- but are you ready to cast your ballot?

Voting is both a right and a privilege -- the basic form of involvement in our democratic system of government, as well as our duty as Christians. When we vote, we help determine who will lead our nation, make our laws and protect our liberties, as well as directly decide on numerous ballot issues.

With this weighty responsibility, it is absolutely critical that we exercise our right to vote this election year -- as well as understand where our candidates stand on the issues that matter to values voters.

There are links on the right column of this Blog for the Democrate and Republician Platforms. Read both Platforms, then vote your Christian conscience. Cast an informed vote. Do your research. Don't just go by what you've heard.

Also, you may visit the CitizenLink® Election Central Web site, where you'll find information to help you choose the candidates who best line up with your beliefs, convictions and values. You may even want to print the information and take it with you to your polling place. This is perfectly legal and may save you time as you cast your ballot.

On November 4th, don't forget to vote your values!

P.S. Please forward this to your family and friends to remind them to vote on Election Day as well.

How will this economy affect local churches?

Times are tough. You need go no further than the front page of your favorite news site to see that.

So what's a church to do?

You might be thinking, "I'm not a church planter! We've been around for forever!" Well, money is tight, so maybe it's time to act like you just started with your church.

Here are a few ideas to keep your ship going straight as the financial waters stir:

1. Just because you do it now doesn't mean you have to keep doing it. Sure, you've been printing bulletins every single week since forever. And you've always bought coffee for 2,000 people (just to be safe) when your attendance is 500. But just because you offer an event, service or product doesn't mean you have to keep offering it. Re-evaluate where your money is going and your return on investment.

2. Go digital. If you can offer it online, do it. There are no printing costs and no materials costs. Obviously, you can't do everything online, but this might be the time to push your church a little harder to embrace technologies that are closer to free. And the things you've been giving away free, you might not be able to do anymore. Think fresh about your costs and price structure. Is it really essential you offer that resource for free instead of at minimal cost? Do you even need to offer it?

3. Think outside of the tithing box. Some Americans are giving up their house to keep tithing. But let's be honest, 5% of adults tithe, and a small percentage of those would give up their house before their tithe. So you're going to need to find new revenue streams. Selling resources and innovative fundraisers are just the tip of the iceberg.

4. Communicate, communicate, communicate. So many people think the church is all about money. Let people know the sacrifices your staff is making, and remind them that you aren't doing this to get rich. Make your financial information available and accessible, and be honest with everyone about funding your mission.

Church should be as cheap as possible without feeling cheap. The organizations who strike the perfect balance will be able to weather the current financial woes.

[from Church Marketing Sucks by Joshua Cody]

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and candlelight vigils are being held throughout the month to remember victims of domestic abuse.

For the last two decades, October has marked a time when people in the nation come together in the fight to end a tragedy that spans every culture, profession (including clergy), race and ethnicity and is happening daily whether in the form of sexual, emotional or physical abuse.

It's time to talk about it from the pulpit and the pew.

Counseling can help. A therapist will educate men and women concerning actions and behaviour modification.

READ MORE

What People Mean

One of the things I’ve learned from the past 30 years of ministry is that sometimes what people say isn’t what they really mean. Things like:

What They Say: “I’m looking for a church that preaches the Word!”
What They Mean: “I’m looking for a church that preaches MY view of the Word. I think the BLANK translation should be used … I think BLANK should be talked about a lot while BLANK should be ignored. And if you ever stop preaching my view of the Word I will leave and tell others that you don’t preach the Word!”

What They Say: “Lot’s of people have been coming to me and saying they don’t like is …”
What They Mean: “I basically only have three friends…and all of them think exactly like me. The other night we were enjoying a time of self righteousness because, after all, we are right about everything … and were also slandering you (in the form of prayer requests) and thought it would be wise to approach you with our pet peeve. We’ve actually talked to no one else about this but said “lots” because we wanted to validate our dysfunction.”

What They Say: “I’m leaving the church.”
What They Mean: “Beg me to stay. If you will just ask me I will share with you several ways you can compromise God’s vision that He’s given you, thus becoming nothing more than a people pleasing pastor who is more interested in popularity than obedience. If you don’t bow to my demands I will remind you that I tithe and that the church needs my money, reducing you to a mere preaching whore … one who is paid for a service for the pleasure of another person.”

What They Say: “I want a church that is more focused on discipleship.”
What They Mean: “I want a church where everyone knows me and how important I am! I don’t want to reach people who are different from me, be it economic class or race or even musical preference. I already know WAY more than you do … but I somehow equate spirituality with knowledge rather than application and I rather enjoy feeling intellectually superior to those who don’t know as much as me.”

What They Say: “Don’t take this personally … but …”
What They Mean: “I am about to lower the BOOM on you … but you can’t get angry because I told you not to take it personally. Even though you have dedicated your life to this and pretty much invest every ounce of energy you have to this cause … and I think about it once or twice a week … you need to receive my attacks, even when they are personal … and you cannot retaliate because, remember, it’s not personal.”

[From Perry Nobles Blog via forwardleadership.org by Jason Isaacs]

Andy Stanley on Leadership

Andy launched Catalyst 2008 with a great talk on leadership. Quotable…

• We want our leaders to have consistency between what they say and what they do.
• At the end of the day, everyone is a volunteer. They can quit at any time.
• Authenticity is a powerful leadership dynamic.
• Nehemiah got mad and asked the leaders to stop over-charging the people. They immediately complied. Why? Because for 12 years, Nehemiah had been living an authentic life in front of them. He had moral authority.
• As leaders, we must be the men and women who never carry into the future the hurt of the past.
• Perhaps the boldest leadership move you could make is to get on your knees and let go of your hurts.
• Men: If your wife feels like your church is your mistress, you are part of the problem you are trying to solve.
• If your kids feel neglected because of your time at the church, you are part of the problem you are trying to solve.

[from LeadingSmart by Tim Stevens]

New KidPak CD Released

Shaun McKinley has anounced that Free Chapel (Pastor Jentezen Franklin) has released a new kids CD.

Shaun, Stephanie, and Reagan traveled to Gainesville, Georgia to celebrate the cd release of “Sun Shining Bright,” a worship CD by the children’s ministry at Free Chapel. Stephanie’s brother, Tony, is the leader of this amazing group.

Shaun writes:

"Last night I had what has to be among my top three experiences in Children’s Ministries. I was able to go to the release party for the KidPak worship CD “Sun Shining Bright” at Free Chapel in Gainesville. Tony, the band, and dance team of over a dozen kid, led those kids directly to God’s throne. The kids responded to the worship call, and stayed focused for the one-and-a-half hour worship concert. It was truly awesome!

"If you ever get the chance to visit this ministry, I highly recommend it. I was intrigued, the ministry operates a little unlike some of the larger churches I have visited. Seems to be a little less restricted, but works! I want to go back soon to experience an entire children’s worship service."

[http://www.twomckinleys.com/]
[http://www.freechapel.org/kidpak/band.aspx]

Gold Nuggets From Catalyst

Building A Great Church

Jim Collins is the author of Good to Great and Built to Last, and spoke to the Catalyst crowd of 12,400 leaders on Thursday morning. Here are a few golden nuggets:

· Not all time in life is equal.
· Good is the enemy of great.
· Greatness is not a function of your circumstances; or good luck; it is a function of a choice.
· Within every organization or company that is great…you will find a culture of discipline.
· Most overnight successes are really about twenty years in the making.
· It took 7 years for Sam Walton to open his 2nd store. It took Starbucks 13 years before they had 5 stores.
· How do the great typically fall? It’s not through complacency. It is typically over-reaching that derails great organizations. Going too far, too fast.
· A great organization is more likely to die of indigestion of too many opportunities rather than starvation of not enough opportunities.
· #1 sign of over-reaching and the start of decline: When you grow beyond your ability to have the right people in the right seats on the bus.
· It is the undisciplined pursuit of more that will kill an organization.
· We need to spend more time on who and less on what. If you have the right who, they will figure out the right what.
· The people who do well in difficult, unpredictable situations are never any better at predicting the future than anyone else.
· We are in turbulent times. The years 1945-2000 were an anomaly. The convergence of stability and prosperity. It is unlikely we’ll see this again in our lifetimes.
· The greatest CEO’s from the greatest companies in history had one distinctive characteristic that separate them from other leaders. The trait is humility.

[from LeadingSmart by Tim Stevens]

Insight Into Today's Pastor

I moderated the listening process for a number of pastors from all faiths last night. The pastors responded pretty much the way the community at large responds: appreciation for the values of the community, commitment for education, role of the churches in community life, ethnic diversity. These were countered by concerns for limited educational funding, the disintegration of families, the rise in gangs and drug use, challenges associated with population growth, etc.

I concluded the discussion with a set of questions on what is unique about ministry, culminating in a discussion of personal needs as ministers. The central response might surprise many people, including pastors. These pastors said their greatest need was for a friend, someone to talk with.

A few years ago the Pew Foundation did a multi-denominational survey of pastors and found pastors within all faiths have a strong desire for friendship. They feel isolated from mutual human contact, relationships of shared concern and open and honest dialog. The Church of God Theological Seminary duplicated the extensive Pew pastor’s survey with the same results. Our pastors feel they need a friend, someone with whom they can be real and just talk.

My own suspicion is that American pastors are carrying the burden of the declining influence of Christianity on American society. Congregations are stressed to their limits to maintain buildings and programs and project an image of relevance and success. An unhealthy professionalism has infected ministers. Pastors have voluntarily been molded into the role of CEO’s and are finding it lonely at the top. The gulf between the clergy and the congregant is widening, and competition between churches further isolates the pastor.

How can we nurture healthy congregations if pastors feel isolated from church members and from each other? Jesus prayed “that they may be one.” Let us pray that our pastors and congregations find their way back into authentic Christian fellowship.

[Jackie Johns]

A Ministry to Refugees in the Country of Georgia

Missionary John Doroshuk reports that Rusa has been in Cerovaniwhich, 20 kl from Tbilisi. They visited the place where new housing is being built for refugees from the Ckhinvali region.

The government is assisting for these people before winter sets in, to move them from tents to houses. However, the people do not have furnishings nor appliances. The ministry provided some small furniture -- tables, chairs, and beds.

Also, they visited a tent-town in Gori and distributed towels, sheets, pillows and other necessities. People are in mush distress. They are cold. They cannot send their children to school. And when the ministry brought them gifts, they took them quickly.

Additional needs were documented. Mostly they need cloth and hygiene supplied. All of them have physiological problems.

Thank you to everyone who has helped. If you feel impressed to help in some way, contact missionary John Doroshuk at mincoordinator@attglobal.net.

What Is The Best Method of Growing Your Church?

As far as I know, there isn't just one method that will make a church grow. Church growth is primarily a result of church health.

Another huge factor is your demographics. It is easier to grow churches in dense areas of population verses in areas with less people.

One of the best books ever written on church growth was The Purpose Driven Church by Pastor Rick Warren. It deals with all of the basic principles for growing a church. Here is a short summary of the book:

- First, you must turn your community into a crowd.
- Secondly, you must turn that crowd into a congregation. (Get them to visit a worship service.)
- Thirdly, turn the congregation into a committed group.
- And finally, turn the committed into a core group of volunteers and leaders.

On a different note, probably the two key departments in your church that effect growth is your music ministry and your children's ministry. Focus on both of these ministries for highest returns on your visitors.

Brian Cutshall has a seminar on DVD called "Structuring Your Church for Growth," that will give you more in depth details on this subject.

Here is the link in case you are interested: Structuring You Church for Growth