Pastor - Please Put Your Family First

The demands of pastoral ministry can be tough on the pastor's wife and family. It may be tempting to put one's family on the alter and sacrifice them to all the demands of the church and ministry - but that would be a big mistake. You can't love your church if you are neglecting and not loving your family.

From 9Marks ministry here are 30 Practical Ways For Pastors to Love Their Wives and Families (Compiled by several pastors).

Here they are: IN RELATION TO YOUR FAMILY ...

1. Take the initiative and establish a plan for family worship. Then follow the plan! (Don Whitney encourages "brevity, regularity, and flexibility" in family worship.)
2. Come home at the exact time you say you will be home; and prepare your heart to serve your family, not be served.
3. Take responsibility for your children's education and discipline — don't leave it to your wife to figure out.
4. Share with your wife and kids some of the good things that are going on in the church, and then thank them for helping to make that possible.
5. Use every hour of your vacation time. And take a vacation that does not involve extended family; restrict it to just your wife and kids.
6. Take a two week vacation.
7. Diligently guard your days off.
8. There are times when it seems like you have to choose whether to be a good dad/husband or a good pastor. Good pastors choose to be good dad/husbands.

IN RELATION TO YOUR WIFE …
9. Get up early and have your quiet time, so that you can take the kids in the morning while your wife has her quiet time.
10. Give her flowers and a hand written card when she least expects it.
11. Regularly schedule a date night and take the initiative on logistics, i.e. organize the baby-sitter, make reservations, and have a plan.
12. Make sure you know her favorite restaurant, meal, flowers, ice cream flavor, and movie.
13. Schedule a weekly time where you watch the kids and your wife gets out to do whatever she wants — not errands. When you can, give her a whole day off from the kids.
14. Decide together with your wife how many evenings you will be gone and honor what has been agreed upon.
15. On Sundays, leave for church a few minutes early to stop and get your wife her favorite coffee drink.
16. Ask your wife over a romantic dinner areas she wants to see you improve.
17. Take your wife to an encouraging conference.
18. Plan regular out-of-town personal retreats for just you and her. Plan time on your retreat to write down all the evidences of grace you see in one another's lives and then share them with one another. Later, spend time writing down your hopes for ways you want to grow as husband and father over the coming year (she doing the same for herself) and then share them with one another.
19. Respect and seek her opinion on things concerning the church.
20. Go for long walks.

IN RELATION TO YOUR CHILDREN …
Read the rest HERE.

I have also started a series of articles which are being published in the White Wing Messenger. You can view the first one by clicking http://www.cogop.org/326634.ihtml and click on the "Family Room."