Here are some of the reasons it is challenging for pastors to maintain intimate friendships:
- Some pastors move often from church to church making it hard to develop lasting close friendships.
- Most lay-people will say that they understand you are a “real person,” but many really don’t believe that. As much as they think they look at you as normal people, they still generally have higher expectations for you.
- Because people generally have higher expectations of pastors, it is easy for pastors to blow their expectations.
- Most church members talk differently to pastors.
- When a friend who is a church member leaves the church, it is very hard for pastors not to take it personally. This can cause a pastor to fear future intimacy with church members.
- In my experience, losing friendships can be as hard (or much harder) on the spouses than the ministers.
- People like to talk about ministers. Because people are watching so closely, we often crave privacy. Without knowing it, we can “wall people out.”
- Church members can be mean.
Any of these ring true with you?